Why Start a Blog?
What a good question. Let me
answer this with another question. Why not? I've seen blogs from the
point of view of cats or blogs that consist of nothing but a mom talking about her 2 year old's bowl movements. I'm fairly certain I can be
equally as interesting. There is also that secret hope of all bloggers that some publisher executive will stumble upon your blog, find it hilarious and "fresh", offer you a book deal which will spend 2 years on the best seller list, it then catches the attention of a movie executive (executives rule the world and we all need one as a friend) and is turned into a movie starring 15 big stars, the movie tanks at the box office and will be played 3 times a week on TNT for a year providing you with enough royalties to retire at 30 and live on some island. My goal in life is to live big on TNT money, just like Kevin Bacon lives off of Kyra Sedgwick's TNT money.
Things You Should Know Before Reading This Blog.
There are a few things you should know about me before you start reading this blog to enhance your reading pleasure.
- I am a horrible speller. As you read this blog there will
no doubt be misspellings, made up words and gibberish peppering the
posts. Please feel free to laugh and mock me mercilessly (its what I
would do in your position.)
- Its a black and white world, seriously. I'm not talking
about the way I view the world or race, I'm not that deep. I'm
completely color blind. A woman who is color blind, shocking. Because
of this you may notice that nothing matches. Not the colors on the
blog, not the clothing in photos, nothing. This may be ascetically
unpleasing for those of you who see fancy shmancy colors. I apologize
for any pain or eye-bleeding this may cause you.
- I'm grammatically challenged. I vaguely recall learning
grammar in 8th grade. It involved a lot of underlining words in
sentences and discussing participles. I've replaced this knowledge with
more important things like lyrics to Britney Spears songs and how many
times Lindsay Lohan has been in rehab (3 times if you are curious.)
Again, feel free to ridicule my misuse of semicolons and the over
abundance of commas.
Why Would You Read This Drivel?
We all have our reasons for reading meaningless drivel. I won't judge you
for whatever those reasons are. Maybe you enjoy sarcasm, maybe your
tired of reading about the Kardashians and want to learn more about
"real world" people in the Midwest, maybe you clicked "next blog" and
ended up here or maybe you're a relative and feel obligated. I'll
accept any of these reasons.
What to Expect from This Blog
Well formed opinions
backed up by endless research, observational humor the likes of
Shakespeare, pictures of our dog dressed in Starbucks uniforms and of
course play-by-play accounts of "Whatch Ya Want Theater" which will
consist of painfully detailed descriptions of the loudest voiced man in
the world yelling "whatch ya want?" down the alley at all hours of the
day.
Stuff You Don't Care to Know But I'm Going to Tell You Anyway
In case you have no idea who I am let me provide you with the basics. I
just got married. We ran off to Vegas and got hitched in September.
No we weren't drunk, nor had we just met. I'm not some trashy blond
starlet who needed a quick tabloid fix and got married because she lost a
bet. It was a well planned idea that germinated for an entire 2
weeks. I recently quit my stable job to go back to school and the hubs,
one-eyed dog (Rio) and I moved to an up-and-coming downtown
neighborhood in Cincinnati. Up-and-coming means we live in an old brick
building filled with hipsters that's across an alley from a fun-loving,
somewhat lazy drug dealer named Blood who dispenses pot via a basket
dropped out of his second story window. If you have ever seen Rear
Window with Jimmy Stewart Blood is the old lady across the courtyard who
lowers her little dog in a basket so she doesn't have to get up. I
like this comparison because it makes me Grace Kelly. I'm also pretty sure Blood's guilty pleasure is watching Gene Kelly musicals and Hitchcock movies while eating a pint of Chubby Hubby but don't tell anyone or it will ruin his street cred.
Me and the hubs gettin hitched
The one-eyed Rio
The old lady in Rear Window demonstrating Blood's ingenious drug delivery system
